Jeffw's Blog

Get OUT of my pub!

Just joking, WELCOME! Here, you'll find some short fiction stories, anecdotes and my possible grumpy opinion on pretty much everything and anything. As you didn't in the slightest asked for it and because I can be magnanimous, I'll try to wrap it all in a clever cocktail of sarcastic witticism and stylish dark humour of the latest fashion, under the icy sophistication of which, you'll discern my true cry of despair to witness our world going to pot... or maybe it's just something I ate.
Don't hesitate to leave a comment! Thanks you, come again.

Caution MAY CONTAIN STRONG LANGUAGE AND HAZARDOUS PUNCTUATION... and with a bit of luck, some English too.

Sunday, 25 August 2013

The Final Stroke

This time, it's without me.” This was announced in a firm tone, the emotion barely discernible in his voice.
“What do you mean? What's wrong with you Tulip?”
It was a fitting nickname, his head was indeed not exactly of the right shape...
“Nothing. I'm just saying, it will be without me.”
“Come on, pull yourself together Tulip! What will the guys say?”
“They can say what the hell they want, I don't care Mammoth!”, another fitting name, you had to admit, even if totally hairless, he was a lot larger than normal, “... and anyway, one less won't make any difference, right?”
“Frankly, I don't understand you. You were always one of the ready to go!”
But never one of the gone!! You see? That's what eating me...”, he must have said it a bit louder than he intended to.
A few heads were starting to turn in their direction. The place wasn't exactly designed for intimacy. Here, it was more like 'One For All'. Except at the end, of course. Never at the end. And, somewhere deep inside, everyone knew it.
“This time it will be the one, you'll see! Come on!”
“Ha! You say that each time, and look where we are...”
The group was now closely surrounding Mammoth and Tulip. Everybody was listening...
“Anyway, as you're so clever, how are you planning to escape it?”
“Easy! I'll hide at the back, and then I'll think of football or sad stuff. Or, I don't know, cute puppies. Yeah, that's right, cute puppies.”
“Oh yeah?! Well have fun with that!You disappoint me Tulip. There are no other words, you disappoint me.”
Oh you can play the tough guy all you want. Doesn't it gnaw you a little?! The uncertainty? Uh? Will we go, will we not?!”
No. Because it will happen eventually, someday. I have faith.”
Right. Like it was the only issue anyway...”, muttered Tulip.
You were saying?”
I was saying that it's all very nice to have faith, but that if all of this is just to end up with your face like a palm-tree at the bottom of a sink anyway, what's the bloody point?!”
A few murmurs of approval greeted this remark. Further up, at the vanguard of the company, you could feel the restlessness starting to grow.
Not so loud! You can't say things like that. He wouldn't do this to us. Not him. He's a good lad.”
For fuck sake Mammoth, wake up! He's seventeen! You really believe in the ovum at the end of the tunnel?!”
And then, everything exploded.

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