Jeffw's Blog

Get OUT of my pub!

Just joking, WELCOME! Here, you'll find some short fiction stories, anecdotes and my possible grumpy opinion on pretty much everything and anything. As you didn't in the slightest asked for it and because I can be magnanimous, I'll try to wrap it all in a clever cocktail of sarcastic witticism and stylish dark humour of the latest fashion, under the icy sophistication of which, you'll discern my true cry of despair to witness our world going to pot... or maybe it's just something I ate.
Don't hesitate to leave a comment! Thanks you, come again.

Caution MAY CONTAIN STRONG LANGUAGE AND HAZARDOUS PUNCTUATION... and with a bit of luck, some English too.

Friday, 22 October 2010

Welcome Party

Malcolm Foghorn was in a foul mood. It was time for the morning walk and he had already had some bad news from the outside.
James Nesbitt – no relation – was an idiot!
In the narrow corridor of the prison, everyone stayed well out of his way, guards included.
Malcolm wasn't one to trifle with. He was a known crime lord. In fact, he was the crime lord. Even now that he was jailed for life about a little divergence of opinion with one of his associate – who ended up going for a swim, belly up, in the river Thames – he was still very influential and had a lot of friends. Everybody knew it and no one could do anything about it... not if they were fond of the idea of seeing their loved ones again. Apparently, everyone in Wandsworth was a family man and they all called him Sir.
Stomping through the gallery, grudgingly, Foghorn mentally went over the last heist he'd organised. Everything went well, to perfection, and according to the plan. Everything! Until that scum bag of Nesbitt got the entire gang nicked! That low-life of a gateway driver had to use his own car! With his personalised number plate J4MES!!
When questioned about it by laughing detectives, all he said in his defence to the coppers was : “Well, they cost me four grand...”
With the welcome reception Foghorn was preparing for James, he was sure it will cost that moron much more than money.

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